Coffee with the youngsters at YMCA

Coffee with the youngsters at YMCA. Peter Carroll

When recently, my wife Daphne and I were invited along with 13 other elderly tenants who live at Romaleyn Gardens sheltered housing, Paignton to share a coffee morning with a group of 15 youths in the local YMCA centre, we did not know quite what to expect.

But the idea seemed good, to bring together the elderly and young alike to take a crack at creating a better understanding between the two generations.

It is so easy to generalise, that youngsters these days have no respect or caring, some of the elders being frightened off by ‘yobs’ and ‘hoodies’ and the like whilst, on the other hand, youngsters who aim to be well behaved are very aware of the fact that many elders do not like them and/or fear them

As a result of this conflict, Safer Communities Torbay began forming the basis of what they call an intergenerational project.

The idea originated as part of the ‘You Said We Did’ Torbay-Wide initiative designed to collate the views of local residents on all issues and problems concerning them, whilst the coffee morning suggestion came from local school children stating they would be happy to host small events to help bridge the gap.

The division between old and young is perhaps wider now than ever before, arguably because the elderly as children were brought up so differently from those of today. We hear so much of lack of respect and so on.

It is becoming ever more difficult to communicate because of modern technology with many youngsters coming ‘wired up’ so to speak with mobile phone in hand immersed in the facilities now available at the press of a button.

The world is a complicated one in as much that children are brought up to ignore strangers because of the minority but unfortunately this prevents a common exchange like simply a friendly smile. And when we were children we were approachable and open to good advice and guidance from others.

But that is no longer there, and in my mind many fall by the wayside because of it.

Instead we are now in a world where a smile given to a youngster is frowned upon whereas it is still thankfully quite common for older people, strangers passing each other in the street to bid each other with a friendly smile and a ‘Good Morning’ which works wonders.

So I feel sorry for youngsters who are clearly missing out and appreciate it must be much more difficult for them to grow up in our present climate which sometimes can be very unfriendly and obscure.

On arrival at the YMCA we were introduced to youngsters averaging 13 years of age and it was good to see our group immediately starting conversation with them. Wondering why they were not at school, had they got time off or whatever, we learned some of them had been disruptive pupils so the need to connect was even more apparent.

It would not be easy for them or us but our party seemed hungry to communicate.

Maria, the YMCA coordinator encouraged the youngsters to mingle and share conversation over coffee and biscuits which seemed to go along quite well, made easier later when we played skittles and basketball in competition. It was amazing, and I think the youngsters were surprised too, that us ‘oldens could still sling a bowl and Brian, aged 84, thought nothing over the latter. An option was to play Bingo but it was interesting that none of us went for that.

Perhaps those youngsters gave us a new perspective in life remembering those sprightly days of our youth.

When time to go it really seemed one and all had enjoyed the new experience and perhaps there is something there, for young and old alike to communicate and share their thoughts and aspirations.

We surely need to help any way we are able to ease the tempest that stirs - to find that certain spark that creates good feeling and attitude.

It would be so gratifying to see bad attitude replaced by good - it makes such a big difference to the way we live and think - and the quality of life.

After we’d departed coordinator Catherine Tetreault asked the youths how they felt the event went…

Nathan (15) ‘They’re really funny, much different to what I thought they we were like. I didn’t think they were that energetic. They are really friendly and caring.’

Sam (15) (who wants to be a policeman) ‘They talk a lot! You can get on with them all. I’ll talk to them now and say good morning and let them pass if I pass them in the street.!

Young Sophie said she’d never had such good times as with us at the YMCA. Which brought joy to all of us who were generally happy that the event seemed to go well and was constructive.

　

Safer Communities Torbay are arranging a number of intergenerational events such as this one. More information can be obtained from

www.safercommunitiestorbay.org.uk

And we hope it can be repeated in the near future.